I'm sure that just about everyone who lives their lives in the weekday/weekend time measuring paradigm can relate to having some weekends that are truly stellar among the humdrum of myriad status quo weekends. My wedding weekend was like that, a little bubble of experience that floats well above most of the other events of my life. I would put forward that there is another category of weekend worth considering, too, where the events are out of the ordinary in a generally positive sense while not necessarily of a caliber to sing their praises from the heavens. Those, I feel, are worth capturing, worth the work of documenting for later because they are the stuff of a real life well-lived.
With the smallest motivation from Julie Daley, I wrote and shared a blog post last Friday night. The writing felt good, the sharing felt good, and the divesting my soul of the weight of the worries felt great!
We're already around to another, but I have to acknowledge that last Saturday was full from my 6 a.m. wake-up to falling asleep on the couch watching Ghost Hunters at 9:45 p.m. I promised the boys that I would take them to see the new Spongebob movie if they cleaned up the living room. Apparently, it was exactly the right motivator because the job was done by 8 a.m.! I checked online and found a 9 a.m. Breakfast and a Flick showtime at our local Movie Tavern. Perfect. We got dressed at mach speed (I was concerned that there would be a long line since the movie just opened on Friday night). We needn't have worried because we were the first ones in the theater and there ended up only being about five or six other families join us. Again, just to my liking. The movie was long and loud and I admit that I tried to catch a little nap but my boys really enjoyed the experience of seeing it like that so I felt good about the choice overall.
The only downside ended up being that I really hadn't gotten enough sleep Friday to Saturday and I came out of the theater not feeling the greatest - my head hurt from the volume and the bright light that greeted us when we walked outside. So when the hubs suggested a trip to Ikea and the 17th Street Mall in Atlanta, I really had to decline. We ended up doing a Trader Joe's run with side trips for La Cazuela Mexican food and Yogurtland fro-yo. Blessedly, I got to sit outside on a bench for the duration of the grocery store time and just enjoy the sunshine instead of navigating the wilds of the aisles with all the other hyper-focused consumers.
When we were on our way home, I suggested we wander through a new neighborhood being built in the township just west of ours. It was just curiosity - I had noticed the changing landscape as they tore down an old homestead and began clearing the land for the new development. One home sat where at least a couple dozen will be erected with prices ranging from the $400K's to $1M+. It's above our price range but I was entranced by the fact that they were building a roundabout at the entrance of the subdivision to handle the new flow of traffic they no doubt anticipate. We drove through the mostly empty streets, noticing how close the homes are being placed, and joking about the "commoners" in the "low-end" homes getting the privilege of living close to the gentry... But not too close. At the back of the land, where some of the heavy construction machinery was parked for the weekend, there was a large hill of construction debris. It had been there for a while as evidenced by the grass growing on it and something told me the views would be beautiful from up there. I mentioned that out loud and my dear, somewhat daring husband said, "You wanna climb it?"
Oh... I did want to climb it.
So, wearing just about the least sensible shoes in my wardrobe, I hopped out of the truck and stepped over the barrier fabric. The boys clambered out after us, totally confused by this uncharacteristic adventure. It reminded me again of how often I stay in the lines, following "The Rules" and generally trying to be normal-good. For why do I do that? I don't know but when I reached the summit, I found my heart racing and not from exertion but from fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of falling, fear of getting caught, and fear of getting punished.
It was a weird mixture of exhilarating and... Embarrassing. I was embarrassed at myself, much like I was during my trip to Chicago, that I have let my world get so risk-averse that climbing a little hill gave me such a danger rush. I think I've mentioned before what a powerful emotion shame can be - I can think of plenty of measured risks I could take, risks that have little probability of outright failure, have plenty of opportunity for success, and would have little impact (in terms of cost or expenditure of energy) if they did fizzle. And I question myself again - why all the years of foot dragging? And I know that's not really the right question. I know the better question is: What is possible now?
A few little addenda that don't have any other home:
Noah (10) brought me a Lego construction of his design and asked me didn't I like the symmetry. I'm constantly delighted by his exceptional observational and creative skills. I really need to revive one of my other blogs, Cranium Condominiums, for him to use.
Among the things I said to Ian that weekend: "Stop drawing poop!" Seriously, children and scatological humor seem inseparable!!