Tell Me About Your Mourning

The character of John Watson on the BBC’s show Sherlock as played by Martin Freeman is an exquisite mourner. You cannot watch his experience of grief and not be moved if you are at all engaged with the show and its characters. It’s an overused phrase, but Freeman is brilliant in this role.

There are so many flavors of mourning. Flavors? Yes, because they each leave their own taste in your mouth, one you remember every time you roll it around your mouth. That’s the other thing about mourning – you return to it, weighing and measuring it over and over. As the flavor changes over time, so does your experience of the pain.

Red Clay Roots: A Weaker Second

After you’ve been a writer for just so long (I don’t know how long, but “so” long), you get inspiration at the most seemingly innocuous times. But it’s not so much the getting of the inspiration but the noticing then capturing of the inspiration that becomes vitally important.

What inspiration did I notice this morning that I knew I needed to capture? Two used tea bags.

All the Words

I was gifted perspective today when someone told me – in REAL LIFE, no less – that they realized only after they had read most of my previous post that those were actually MY words (rather than a random link to something I liked on someone else’s blog). They told me that they thought it was funny because it sounded so much like me but it took them a moment to go check and see that, yes, those were in fact my words. I was grateful for the perspective because it didn’t occur to me when I was posting it to my personal Facebook page that there would be plenty of people who wouldn’t necessarily connect ME to my blog, especially since the names differ.

All the Colors

At work, I wear a uniform. Every day, I put on a white hair net, a white hat, a white long sleeve shirt (albeit with a shocking stripe of fluorescent yellow reflective fabric slashing through the center of my chest and running from wrist to shoulder), white pants, and tan shoes. It’s all very… Functional, even down to the fabric, which is designed to handle harsh detergents and a copious number of weekly washings. Designed as it was for utility, it’s also not flattering in the least and definitely not the comfortable yoga pants you’ll find me in almost any time I’m not in the uniform. My ability to fulfill the responsibilities of my role is not in any way predicated on the wearing of the uniform – the mandate to wear it is nothing more than a coincidence based on the location of my workstation, situated in a windowless interior room of a rather large manufacturing facility.

All the Pieces

And there was still a sweatshirt splattered with barbecue sauce waiting, forlorn and forgotten, in the downstairs bathroom sink…

When I work things out just right, I can manage a day where AFTER I work a full shift, I stop on the way home and get groceries, all from a list that I wrote out the day before, not deviating by more than a couple items. I get everything trucked home, cold stuff put away, pantry stuff put away, fruits and veggies on the counter rearranged just so. The kids are home or come home from school and occupy themselves.

A Warm Quilt for My Soul

Participating in Hannah Marcotti's current iteration of Community Grace has been heart-opening already and we're only a few days in!

This is my favorite prompt (so far) - to remind yourself of the beauty your "community" has shown you. It's ALL fair game: texts, comments, messages, letters, emails. Words written or whispered, spoken or scribbled. Anything that's come your way, landed in your lap, blessed you with love. Here's one of Hannah's own examples.

Funny how tender it feels to share some of these – funny how unworthy I feel about accepting the love, the grace and the kindness - yet how grateful I feel that I can collect them all together like a warm, handmade quilt for my soul.

She said, “I just really think you will grok with her.”

She said, “Yes, exactly.”

She said, “And it's not really filling her shoes. It's growing into your own. Very exciting. And brave!”

She said, “I am just amazed by your incredible capacities and honored by your words.”

She said, “I'm so glad you are taking such good care of yourself.”

He said, "The attention to detail is superb. You are quite the craftsman."

She said, "Is there anything you cannot do?"

She said, “Wear the crystals in your bra.”

She said, “Oh wow! Your hands are full. Breathe easy.”

She said, “OMG, I love your watercolor photo!”

She said, “I would love to have tea with you when you have time.”

She said, “I want to show appreciation to the wonderful ladies in my life.”

She said, “Your positive posts about life in general and your children really inspire and motivate me.”

She said, “I hope you are having an awesome day.”

She said, “You are pretty flipping amazing.... Love you.”

She said, “Oh gurl we need to have a paartay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

She said, “I am thrilled that you chose me to help with this!!!”

She said, “You are most welcome!! I would do anything for you.”

She said, “Yeah, thanks for the reassurance that's it is okay to show vulnerability.”

She said, “Thanks for this morning.”

She said, “Thanks for the gentle push to put the phone down and rest.”

He said, “It was great talking to you today.”

He said, “I love the red on you.”

She said, “Oh Honey...your's a kiss from an angel.”

She said, “'re screaming hot every way you slice it. xoxo”

She said, “You are simply awesome. That's that.”

She said, “Thank you so much, kiddo. I appreciate the help.”

She said, “You don’t know how much I needed that hug.”

He said, “Fun. Let's go.”

He said, “Aw, thank you for coming and contributing!”

He said, “You're a talented writer so I'm sure there's some rich material emerging.”

He said, “That is amazing. You've almost got a novella.”

She said, “how ya doing sister?”

She said, “I love you too Mama Sister Love”

She said, “you are on a roll!!! now is the time!!!”

She said, “Ich liebe dich, Michelle!!! Meine Freunde!!”

She said, “You are being the smart, amazing, wonderful woman that you are!”

She said, “I miss you.”

She said, “Your words are always so perfect and exactly what I need to hear when I comment in the FB group.”

She said, “I really feel a kindred connection with you.”

She said, “Everybody needs an outlet.”

She said, “You have to be the one to set those boundaries and what is acceptable and what is not.”

She said, “You need to look back and acknowledge how far you have already come. Celebrate that success.”

She said, "Well done!!!!! Smooch."

She said, "Rawr! That is all."

She said, "Can I hire you to be my personal chef? This looks AMAZING!"

She said, "I didn't even think of asking you at the time, but wish I would've asked for some of your artwork. It's beautiful!"

She said, "You do the most beautiful art!"

She said, "We always get the messages we need to hear when we are open to it. Isn't serendipity fun?"

She said, "You're very astute."

He said, "You are strong, intelligent, beautiful and capable of anything that you desire."


She said, “Well get your sleep and write your book, and come heal the world with me please.