Not So Much


I named this website "Evolving Perspective" because it represents most wholly (and in the fewest words) my experience of the world. Everyone's perspective changes constantly, even throughout the course of the day. Noticing where my perspective is during any given situation is what is most vital for my functioning and for my well being. Yes, you can be simultaneously functioning AND unwell - it's never a good place to spend too much time. For me, it takes enough uncomfortable situations within a certain amount of time to realize that something about my perspective is out of kilter.

There are always clues to help me notice when my perspective has narrowed down to nearly nothing. The biggest one is that I approach the world with a giant "I don't know what to do or how to do it!" At this stage of the game, though, at the very least, I mostly know where to start... It just takes gumption to widen my perspective back out again. Amusingly, it always takes me a while to notice when I'm saying that a lot... It's a can't see the forest for the trees thing, I suppose.

I'm struggling with this post this morning. It's kind of silly... The audience for this blog is small and I don't have to have to perfect words. It's just that they're so clear in my head but pulling them out this morning has been like trying to pick a paperclip up off the floor when you have long fingernails. Or cleaning up something gooey and sticky like peanut butter. But challenges are like that, especially when you're in the transition stage between "I don't know what to do!" and "I'll figure it out!"

One of the constants underlying my life has been food. When my perspective of food is skewed, I make poor decisions, mostly knowing that they're poor decisions, and still mostly choosing poorly for a while. It's not so much the food we choose to eat or where we get it from as our understanding of the life cycle of the food that matters most. When we understand and cherish that cycle, that necessarily impacts what we eat and from whom we source it. When we ignore the life cycle, even when we do know it, that causes a misalignment of perspective.

I'm talking myself around something larger here, can you tell? I'm talking myself around a big problem and I'm good at doing that because I've had a lot of practice. Of course, I know I'll eventually figure it out. I always have before. I despise seeming coy or vague but I feel like I need to solve this one for myself. Or perhaps I need to be more discerning and precise about the help I request - about what and from whom. Discernment has been a challenge for me... Which is funny because that's almost precisely what perspective is at its core: discerning the differences between looking at something one way and looking at that same thing in a different way. So maybe it's a matter of acting on what I discern, acting from the perspective that feels most whole for me.

It's a good question and one that deserves thought then deserves action. Stalling after thought is what I have the most practice in - time for a little follow-through!